Sometimes life throws you somethings you just can't figure out. No matter how much you pray and hope, you soon realize that nothing is in your own hands .
I just received an e-mail that an old girlfriend of mine lost her baby. Her situation was not the most ideal. It was not even the least ideal, but there's something that comes with new life that breathes much needed optimism into the lives around it. The thing is, this is the 5th death in a row of unborn or newborn babies among my friends. The past 5 pregnancies, consecutively,among my family and close friends have all ended in death of the child. I know we're supposed to learn from these situations, but sometimes it seems hard to find out what lesson there is. Is God telling us there is no hope anymore? Or was He protecting those innocent souls from being subject to the way this nation treats His children?
It is just so hard to see these families suffer and have to go on living their lives, knowing something is missing. Knowing they should be planning for one more.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Dandelions have taken over my grass
But, I kind of like how that seems.
Like shards of broken yellow glass
Reflecting billions of scattered sun beams.
The pups of the fall are now hounds,
They've been beying all through the dark.
And there's not a coon on the ground,
Who wouldn't run from that bark.
This porch is getting soggy with rot
And the paint flies away with the wind
But the time is too short and too hot
So let's find the pond and jump in.
But, I kind of like how that seems.
Like shards of broken yellow glass
Reflecting billions of scattered sun beams.
The pups of the fall are now hounds,
They've been beying all through the dark.
And there's not a coon on the ground,
Who wouldn't run from that bark.
This porch is getting soggy with rot
And the paint flies away with the wind
But the time is too short and too hot
So let's find the pond and jump in.
05/07/2009
Hi,
Today I'm baking some stuff for the kids school and girl scouts. This scout thing is eating me up. It's taking over space in my house, my time and my mental state. What frustrates me more is that other adults just abandoned it and they don't think of the kids they're leaving with a bad impression what being a scout could be.
On another note, I've been listening to Dave Ramsey all morning. Trying to figure out how to get ahead financially more than we've been. This is so not how my life planned, but at least the hospital is payed off now. I think a lot about that hospital stay. There were so many benefits that came with having the tumors removed, but it also removed the chance for any pregnancies. You'd think I'd be glad about that since I had kind of been done having kids with the two girls, but there's a difference in making that decision on you own and having it made for you. Often times I'll look at our neighbor's daughter and think about our youngest who would've been just a few weeks different in age than her. I picture how they would've been in kindergarten together and maybe been doing the school programs. Cas and Ravi would've been such great big sisters. Cas is so nurturing and patient and selfless. Ravi can seem self involved, but if you watch her she would give anything to try and make someone happy and they both are very contemplative individuals. I can only imagine them sharing that with their brother. He would've been spoiled. However, nobody could ever have been more surprised at the 2 kids I have than me. My childhood was, different, let's say. Being a parent was something I didn't know how to do or ever planned on doing. I was scared of all the what ifs. Cas and Ravi have made all the difference in the world to me. Somethings I've learned from raising them, that I never learned from my parents is that it's okay to say "I don't know", or "I was wrong, I'm sorry." You can say "No" with out being mean about it.
Wow, I never realized how boring I can be when left to my own devices. I should write something fun. ---Sunshine- lollipops- cute kittens- baseball. There, now you have fun things to remember about reading this.
Today I'm baking some stuff for the kids school and girl scouts. This scout thing is eating me up. It's taking over space in my house, my time and my mental state. What frustrates me more is that other adults just abandoned it and they don't think of the kids they're leaving with a bad impression what being a scout could be.
On another note, I've been listening to Dave Ramsey all morning. Trying to figure out how to get ahead financially more than we've been. This is so not how my life planned, but at least the hospital is payed off now. I think a lot about that hospital stay. There were so many benefits that came with having the tumors removed, but it also removed the chance for any pregnancies. You'd think I'd be glad about that since I had kind of been done having kids with the two girls, but there's a difference in making that decision on you own and having it made for you. Often times I'll look at our neighbor's daughter and think about our youngest who would've been just a few weeks different in age than her. I picture how they would've been in kindergarten together and maybe been doing the school programs. Cas and Ravi would've been such great big sisters. Cas is so nurturing and patient and selfless. Ravi can seem self involved, but if you watch her she would give anything to try and make someone happy and they both are very contemplative individuals. I can only imagine them sharing that with their brother. He would've been spoiled. However, nobody could ever have been more surprised at the 2 kids I have than me. My childhood was, different, let's say. Being a parent was something I didn't know how to do or ever planned on doing. I was scared of all the what ifs. Cas and Ravi have made all the difference in the world to me. Somethings I've learned from raising them, that I never learned from my parents is that it's okay to say "I don't know", or "I was wrong, I'm sorry." You can say "No" with out being mean about it.
Wow, I never realized how boring I can be when left to my own devices. I should write something fun. ---Sunshine- lollipops- cute kittens- baseball. There, now you have fun things to remember about reading this.
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